6. Being faithful to one partner is unnatural
“Why are some of you men blaming women? Where’s your own responsibility in all this? To answer your question, monogamy is something unnatural. Humans are one of the very few species in the world who stick to one mate. I think for men it’s more difficult to stick to one partner. For women it’s easier,” said Irene De Waal.
7. How your partner treats you
Beatrice Nkonde says the way one treats one’s partner also influences where they can be wooed by someone else.
Brenda Simalabbe adds that cheating partners make it difficult to remain faithful.
“If the love is there, then yes it’s possible to just be with one partner. Most men are good when you still in a dating relationship and once they marry you they keep you for the house and find someone else to enjoy what they have with! All in all i d say if partner is cheating in a relationship, it’s the infidelity from both parties!”
8. Lack of self-control and lack of respect
Vuvuzela Man notes that lack of self control and respect for oneself and partner is also a big factor. Beatrice Jerrah Mvula adds, “If one can find true love, a person they can trust, respect, understand, communicate with, and who will do unto you as they wish to have done to them, then why would you even look elsewhere?”
9. Sexual experience with the primary partner
Brian Bwalya Chileshe says whether the two partners have a good life or lousy sex influences whether one partner will go looking for sex elsewhere.
“The other problem is people think they can die without having sex, which is not true. so once they partner refuses to have sex with them for some reason they resort to have other partner which is very unfair and wrong,” says Setrida Mukuwa.
10. Revenge on a cheating partner
Peter Siwale also blames women, but he also takes the blaming further, introducing revenge as a motive for me to have multiple concurrent partners. “Women are the cause of all this. If they can learn to love one person because of who he is, not because of the money he has, then this whole thing wouldn’t be an issue. Men do it out of revenge, knowing that they are not the only one in the woman’s life and maybe she has that secret man who provides for her in his absence.”
Download Multiple Concurrent Partnership ( A 10-country report)
This research report covers reasons people in Southern Africa have multiple concurrent partners, the nature of the relationships and how they relationships are managed.
2 Comments
Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
Very interesting post!
I would like to comment on some of the points.
Generally speaking 4. The lack of self discipline would explain that behavior for most people. I mean – you get tempted and you can’t resist. Makes sense.
However 3. The environment have dramatic effect of one’s behavior. There are studies that people can change identity very, very fast in certain environment. For example watch that movie Das Experiment (2001) made by real studies. It’s fascinating!
And of course 5. Not the blaming itself but the various reasons many will seek to do it. Usually it’s not being fulfilled.
Cheating can be avoided and it requires an approach not many have ever thought about.
Wes M