During our online discussions about multiple concurrent partners, an ongoing theme that has emerged is the belief that men cheat on their partners, and women do not cheat.

Part of our challenge has been that most readers who responded to the posts are women, and our male readers have remained  silent even we assured them that the women won’t bite:-).

Some of our readers have said:

“I’m not trying to side with women but it’s not common for a woman to cheat on a man. It’s mostly us men who can’t keep our zippers closed,” said Nsinzo Blake Chilokota.

Corinna Turner agrees with him. “Men are sexual predators by nature and many will step over the line whether they are with men or women, whether their partners are willing or not, pretty or not, sexy or not,” she says.

And when called to order by Ismael Mohamed about generalisations, Christel-Michel Trudgeon said: “Not all men are fuckwits. Neither are all women. But some really try and change your mind!”

Some reasons

So why do so many people hold the view that “most men cheat on their partners; women don’t cheat?”

Bolelang Rakeepile says the generalisations come from an anger which was created by their personal experience of being cheated on. “The problem is that bashing men only makes the issue worse. Every case should be treated separate and people should steer away from generalising,” he says.

Barbara Lombard agrees. “They generalise about men because they feel hurt or have a history of bad experiences and have a need to express the feeling of anger, bitterness and hurt. However, I dont think anyone really believes the generalisations they use, it is an attempt at comfort, which does not help anyway.”

“We should also bear in mind that a man who cheats on his steady partner also has a partner in crime – the woman who agreed to have a relationship with him knowing that he is already committed elsewhere,” says Gaynor Paynter. She adds that women are just as accountable for the multiple concurrent relationship, whether they are going out with a man who is married or in a steady relationship. “The only time it’s remotely understandable from the woman’s side is if the partner is not honest and hides the fact that he is already in a relationship,” she adds.

“Gaynor hit the nail on the head,” chirps in Gontse Koitsioe. “It’s a partnership thing. But then how do men come to be so demonised, and we seem to allow it? Huh?”

Good question!

Be Sociable, Share!

•