OneLove Kwasila is hosting a discussion on Facebook, asking why people pay for sex.

“‘We’re not just talking about commercial sex workers but what about also transactional relationships that include gifts and even food in exchange for sex.”

Here are some of the reasons our readers have given so far:

1. Giving Money=She Can’t Say No

People pay for sex because they think that women will not deny them sex provided they have money. There are people who act on the principle that “no money, no sex, says Dagloria Mutinta Mundia.

“They use it as a catalyst to help them accomplish their mission of wanting to sleep with a particular woman whom they believe that would say no if money was not used,” says Bob Banda.

2.  Some People Are Too Lazy To Woo A Woman

Andrew Mubila Nambota sees paying money for sex as a lazy man’s way to get sex.sex waznt nva ment 4payment. If u get damn… U ar pathetic!Kelvin Damien Kangel agrees, saying: “sex wa s never meant to be paid for. If you have to pay, damn you’re pathetic.”

3.  Everything Has A Price

However, O’Neil Mweemba diasgrees. He says everything has a price, and we have to pay one way or another. Why not sex?

“There is nothing for free in this world; just maybe the air we breathe. Most men pay in some cases to dominant the lady or girl and also to prevent other men from winning her away from him. What they don’t kn’w is they are spoiling her as anyone with cash will do the doing,” says Bwalya Mwaba.

Parick P Muchimba agrees with them. He says: “Paying sounds crude. However what’s the difference between getting sex on hire purchase from your so-called lover or paying cash from to sex worker? Which ever way you look at it, there is cash involved. The only question is whether there is intimacy as wth your girl or not as with a sex worker.”

4. Paying For Sex Is A Good Way To Avoid Commitment

Paying for sex is also a good way to avoid the expectation of commitment from your partner, says Izukanji Kangwa. It puts the relationship on a transactional footing, so it’s clear what each party offers.

5. You Can Get Wild Sexual Experiences

Some men want wild experiences, and they would rather a sex worker does that for them than their partner, says Barbrah Musamba Chama. These men claim that  such sexual experiences would be degrading to the wife/girlfriend.

“You wonder why they want to do degrading stuff, then. What they don’t realise is that everything comes with a price in life: you go to use a sex worker, she gets your bucks and gives you a sexual transmitted infection as well.”

Babara says people who go into transactional relationships with  good-looking but demanding men and women are also being short-sighted. “Make sure you never go bankrupt, but what a life to live!”

6. Some People Think It’s A Man’s Job To Take Care Of His Woman

Barbara adds that the transactional relationship is sometimes also explained away as part of the culture of a strong man to take care of his woman. It is not part of culture for a man to be askd to go shopping to pay for luxury items, and to pay for someone else’s bills. ” It is a misinterpretation of culture!”

7. They Use Poverty To Get Women Who’d Ordinarily Say “No”

Some readers also argue that men pay for sex because poverty forces many women to agree to the arrangement.

8. It’s A Way Of Showing Appreciation

Paying cash and giving gifts is also seen as a way to show appreciation to theex partner, some of our readers say. “”Men offer gifts in a such a way that when they ask for sex, a girl/lady is reminded of how nice the man has been, and they have no good excuse to refuse to give in,” says Michael Kapili Sakala.

Join the conversation

Share your views: why do people pay sex? And what are the risks of sex  that is being paid for( whether from sex worker or from transactional relationship) in spreading HIV?

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