What is a real man?
In our discussions on the web site about how culture influences the decision to have many sexual partners at a time, the issue of a real man has come up many times.
There are many African proverbs which define a real man. Unfortunately, many of them encourage risky sexual behaviour in a time when we are fighting against HIV and AIDS.
According to a Sesotho proverb, a real man is one who is like a cabbage, and spreads himself as far and wide as he can. A Shona proverb in Zimbabwe says a real man will be seen through his scars, which he got from sexually transmitted infections.
A Setswana proverb in South Africa says a man is an axe, to be lent out to women as the need arises. And a Swazi proverb says a real man does not chew with one side of his mouth. This means that a man should have more than one lover to qualify to be a true man.
Sadly, all these proverbs encourage men to engage in sexual behaviours that could harm men, their sexual partners, their families and their communities, as there is evidence that we have a higher risk of getting HIV when we have more sexual partner at a time.
Isn’t it time that our men to defined themselves with qualities that enhance their lives and those of their family members? For example, if your source of pride is that you have many lovers, how does that directly benefit your son, whom you surely love and want the best things for him in life? And what does that teach him about how to live and to care for your grandchildren, once he has them?
We need to use qualities that can make our friends, women and children proud of us. Qualities that our children can be proud to imitate and to teach their own children.
So tell us: what are the qualities that our men should use to define themselves? What, in your view, is a real man?
Share your views in the comments section of this post.
4 Comments
i would say, that is an old fashioned way of living, and men who still want to follow it, are not real men because, they are afraid of what the people whould say if they see that they are doing what is against the “norm”.
A real man is someone who is honest enough not to kill another human being because of the fear of being left. A real men would let a woman live with her honor. despite what society says, he chooses to respect her for what she gave him, a golden heart that can not be bought with money. Real men also know that children are a gift from GOD and do not sleep around because their wife can not concieve. I am yet to see such men in Africa and salute them. Most men in Africa are not real men, im sorry to say, but some of them are trying, thats light at the end of a tunnel.
A real man is someone who tells the truth and doesn’t hide his true feelings. Who doesn’t pretend.
The men issue, it’s ease to understand, in today society,we can find 2 kind of men 1-
Group of Men, who think as casanova, more women, means more power, who try to get recognition as” Macho men”, they just care about women as numbers. Their attitude, just show us, their true low personality and no moral grounds, as humam being.Those’re men who can’t manage a relationship,by having multiple partners, they hide their weakness.They think, they,re quite sucessfull men, for them, sucess means:The ability, to move from one failure to another failure with enthusiasm.
Once, Napoleon Bonaparte said:”A true man, its not a man, who have hundreds of women, by his side, but, a man, who choose his wife wisely”.
2-Group of men,are men who think wisely,any single action it’s done with care. These ‘re men, who always, have time in their side.They choose, their partner wisely, they also have sucess in their side.
Wisely,with no place to errors.