What is a real man? In the story below, a single Zambian man in his late thirties explains how his society’s perception of a real man has encouraged (pressured?) him to have multiple partners. To him, being a real man means having multiple concurrent partners.
Those who don’t get girlfriends are laughed at and are called kibolobofwa, meaning someone who has erectile dysfunction. The more women you have, the more you are considered a real man.
I also have several sexual partners because I want variety. If you only have one, you can get tired of her in no time at all. But if you have several girlfriends, you can be rotating and it might take some time before going back to the first girlfriend, and when you go back, it becomes a fresh relationship and you are attracted to each other.
Most girls know me very well as someone who has many girlfriends and out of curiosity some even come to me and they fall for me. Young men also come to me for advice as to how to propose a girl.
You know, when people appreciate my exploits, I feel good and go for more girls. Some girls actually fight over me.
It’s just a matter of time
My thoughts are that this disease (HIV and AIDS) has been with us for a long time and it is affecting people. If a person gets infected, it is just a matter of time.
In fact those who indulge in multiple sexual relationships are not highly infected. But those who respect and restrain themselves are the ones who are getting infected. Some of these respectable women are being infected by their husbands.
This Muzezempuya (disease) is just about time. If it is time for you to get it you will surely get it. Everything has time. If your time has come, there is nothing you can do about it.
Even children who are not infected, they die, and elderly people continue living. This is to say death and illnesses have been there even before HIV and AIDS. So, for me it is not a big issue, it does not scare that much to the extent that if I do this or that I will be creating a problem for someone, not at all.
Talk about it
So, what do you think? If you were sitting next to this man and he told you his views about relatonships and HIV, what would you say to him?
One Comment
amags sxs