As you and your partner go through different stages of your life, so will your love-making change.

At times it will be wonderful. At other times it will just OK. And sometimes, it may even be difficult.

What is important is that you always talk and listen to one another and do as much as possible to keep your sexual relationship working.

This will ensure that you are both satisfied with your sex life and are not tempted to have multiple concurrent partners.

Sex and a woman’s menstrual cycle

A woman’ moods and sense of “sexiness” often changes at different times of her monthly menstrual cycle.

One woman might feel sexy in the middle of her cycle ( i.e. two weeks after menstruation), which is when she ovulates and produces eggs. Another woman might feel really sexy just before or during menstruation.

A woman can have penetrative or non-penetrative sex during menstruation. This is a choice that needs to work for both you and your partner – so talk about it!

Keep in mind that:

• Penetrative sex without condoms during a woman’s menstrual period increases the risk of HIV infection.
• Sex without condoms can result in pregnancy.

Sex and pregnancy

A woman’s pregnancy is not a reason to stop making love. In fact, sex during pregnancy is a wonderful way of building a special connection between the mother and father-to-be. It also helkps relieve any fears they may have about becoming parents.

In most cases, and at most times, mot forms of love-making during pregnancy will not harm the unborn baby or the mom-to-be. But pregnant women have a greater risk of getting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections and these can harm the baby. So you should make sure that you have sef sex during pregnancy.

Remember: A prenant woman is capable of having and enjoying sex, and a considerate partner does not have to look for multiple concurrent partners to avoid “bothering” her with sexual demands.

Talk about it

What do you think of the culture many African men have of finding a concurrent partner when their wives are pregnant? Do you think the excuse given that they are protecting their spouses from sexual demands valid? Do you think men are afraid that they will hurt partners during sexual intercourse when the partner is pregnant? Or do you think that many men are just not attracted to pregnant women?

Acknowledgement

This article is an excerpt from SoulSEX, a 44-page booklet offering tips on how to improve your sex life.

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