Does familiarity breed contempt? Is sex better with a secret lover, or with someone who knows you well? Share your views by taking this poll. You can also explain your vote in the comments section of this post.
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9 Comments
I think ppl should realise dat aids is real thing and they must avoid to get influence from their friends ,just stick to your planes and goals
When you have sex it is supposed to be an extension of your love for your partner not a rushed hidden thing. Sex with a partner whom you know well is more fulfilling and non of you feel used afterwards
I think we can agree it’s different for each person. Some people can’t relax enough physically and let go of inhibitions with someone they don’t know well, so the sex ends up bad. But then there are others who get turned on by “new territory”. The novelty excites them. Or even if they’ve had this secret lover for a long time, then the forbidden fruit aspect excites them.
Its more fulfilling if you have sex with your partner as an extension of love, emotions & body comunication. Sex is not only about satisfying your sexual appetite its about an unwritetn emotional bond that is being created between you & your partner.
I really think it depends on the people. The one secret lover that I had I went on to marry!
LOL Tish. I guess he then stopped being a secret lover:-)
It’s better with a secret lover. When you get too used to each other, the attraction fades and you become like brother and sister.
I voted other because it can be a case of all of the above! Also, and as a generality, this is different for men and women.
And why do so many men look for a lover outside the home? This is not a modern thing. Why do women look for sex outside the home?
Sex is sex and a lover outside the home implies none of the problems of love and life up close and personal. If it is not good you will move on to another lover or back to the home base, ergo, sex outside the home is bound to be more exciting - you went to look for it in fact.
However, if you are talking about love and sex in a committed, loving relationship, you are generally talking about a completely different thing and whilst not always a matter of mindblowing excitement it can bring a sense of completeness and well being.
I think it’s better with someone you feel emotionally safe with and that usually isn’t someone you’ve just met, although I suppose it could be a secret lover that you’ve had for a while. I’ve had sex with someone I was married to and it was great when I felt emotionally safe with him, but when the marriage broke down and I didn’t feel emotionally safe with him any longer, sex with him wasn’t good. It just made me feel used and angry with myself - I felt as if my own body had betrayed me. Sex is not necessarily great with a secret lover, but sometimes it’s about comforting each other more than about great sex, pretending to be close to another person romantically even when that’s not really the case. That may seem pathetic to someone who has lots of options in terms of love and sex, but for those of us who are older, the options become fewer.