Do you think it is possible for people who grew up in a culture where small houses are the norm, to change their behaviour and have only one partner? If so, what are some of the challenges that they face?
The OneLove Campaign in Zimbabwe encourages us to keep all our love “under one roof.” This message comes from the fact that many Zimbabweans have “small houses.”
Small houses are second or third families that men and women establish, when a man who is already marries, sets up another woman as his wife and has children with her.
Talk about it
Share your views about “small houses” in the comments section of this post.
3 Comments
It is definitely possible. But possible does not mean easy. It takes a very deliberate choice to go against the norm surrounding you. And you have to have consistent resolve because those norms are not going to disappear for the time being. You may even get challenged by the very people who love you most - family, close friends, etc. - because the norm is their understanding of how things are destined to be.
If men who take “small houses” aren’t moved by fidelity as a principle, they should recognize and treat this as a health issue. After all, it seems this is really what the OneLove message is about. It’s not about morals. It’s about health. Any person who has more than one lover and is not using condoms consistently and correctly has serious reason to worry about their health.
Men with “small houses” - you already have evidence that your small house is willing to take part in infidelity - otherwise she would not take part in yours. So are you sure she is being faithful to you?
Therefore, worry about your health! HIV may no longer be an absolute death sentence, but it’s nothing anyone should take lightly. If you are HIV-positive and want to continue healthily, it means a radical change in lifestyle - and that includes changes in your sex life.
We owe it to our children and loved ones around us to be the healthiest that we can be.
I don’t think your culture is all that matters. Culture is important, but you’ve gotta think further than the end of your nose (or other things). I know that I can have only one sexual partner. My father has other partners, I know that, but he puts my mother at risk of getting HIV and I hate it. As a guy, I know I won’t put my girlfriend at risk just because my dad is willing to make my mom sick. Is that culture, what you learn from your parents? My culture is about caring for the people I love. My dad, mad as it is, has taught me to care about the woman in my life!
Relationships should be all about trust and faithfulness. The moment one decides to engage in another affair while still maintaining the initial stable relationship then all parties will be at serious risk. of infection. Evidence available clearly indicates that during the first three weeks of getting HIV infection the viral load is very high. At that point if one has a sexual affair with anyone the chances of passing on the virus are very high. It becomes even worse if one has more partners (small houses). It is therefore extremely important to promote one love to make everyone consious of the need to prevent getting the infection in the first place or using adequate protection.