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I recently found evidence that my husband is cheating on me after I saw an MMS with a picture of the woman as well as an SMS from him declaring how much he loved her.
I was very hurt and left the house to take a drive to clear my mind. I showed the evidence to his brother who was visiting us at the time of the incident. He woke him up after I left and confronted him about the situation.
My husband tried calling me but I was too hurt to even answer his phone. Eventualty I returned home after crying by myself for 2 hours. I confronted him and he admited to everything. I asked him if he was not satisfied with from me. He said there was nothing he was not satisfied with; he was just being naughty. He promised to stop but I told him it was not going to be easy for me to trust him again.
Later during the month I went to his itemised billing and discoverred that he still made 3 calls to her after his promise that he was not going to do it again. The last call was on the 25th of this month.
I guess I must walk away from my marriage of 7 years and leave him to peacefully enjoy his life wwithout me being the boring old fashioned wife. I am hurting so much I feel like filing for a divorce tomorrow. I don’t believe he deserves me.
Response from Dr Sue Goldstein at the Soul City Institute
Dear Max
Being cheated on is very painful and can tear the life you thought you had apart. I really would like to commend you on your strength in facing this man. It is hard enough to start to trust a person, but if he continues to cheat on you then it is impossible.
Unfortunately in this day and age it is not just your emotions that might be hurt but you are now at risk of getting HIV, and need to recognise that you need to be tested to find out your status.
Although leaving him may be very hard and painful now, there are many men who do not cheat, and with whom you might find a loving and fulfilling relationship. And even if you don’t find such a man, you need to celebrate yourself and realise that you don’t need a man to be fulfilled, you can live a happy and productive life as a single person (as do millions of women).
Others can take strength from you, as you bravely face up to a difficult situation. We wish you good luck, and remember when times are hard there are people who you can talk to .
Here are some numbers for people you can talk to:
Lifeline – 0861 322 322
AIDS Helpline number here – 0800 012 322
Sue
Talk about it
Share your words of wisdom wi our reader. What issues should she consider as she reviews her marriage and her next course of action? Also please tel us about your experiences if you have been in her shoes.
8 Comments
An ongoing discussion on the pain of divorce
http://www.harassedmom.co.za/?p=2699
OneLove Kwasila is also talking about how to protect yourself if you find out that your partner has other partners [on facebook]
http://www.facebook.com/pages/One-Love-Kwasila/78553242569#/pages/One-Love-Kwasila/78553242569?v=feed&story_fbid=126256900667
Im happy u left him. I just found out my husband as not stop cheating on me.He has never had the guts to admit it but i have evidence he did.I try to beleive him,when he said he didn’t do it,cause i have 2 kids with him,but it seem he doesn’t really care about us.It hurts so much to know the men u though was the love of ur life betray u like that.Honestly i dont wanna have anything serious with any other men,they are all cheaters,liers.At least the one i married is,all they care about is sex,they dont know what love is.
i got married to my husband when i was 17 now iam 21 with 2kids..iv just found out that hes been cheating on me. i cant stop crying. i have no money to support myself..i dont know wat 2 do.. somebody told me about wat he was doing and im going to confront him in front of the girl. apparantly she does not know that he is married. i am so angry i dont know wat will happen. i have to have patiance..i think im going through trauma just hearing about him cheating on me.
I recently viewed my hubby’s past gtalk chats with his mistress and Lord knows how serious the relationship was. I had no idea my hubby was romantic, I only saw it in those chats. I beat her up in front of my mother in law as well as my father in law, my husband was also there. I WAS bitter and I still cant forgive him for this. we are still together but things will never be the same. Divorce is not the answer, u will hurt the kids. These days when I go through the chats, i GO TO HER office and scold her, at least my bitterness lowers
man are born bitches, I wonder if there are any who dont cheat. but my hubby’s cheating has brought a new character in me, a bold somebody who knows her rights and wont be tossed around
ok here i go i sound crazy but every men ive been with has lied or cheated i’m 49 i think i’m to old for this i don’t won’t a nother husband i don;t know what to do i found my husband texting and interneting a women talking while i was at work and telling your good nite nite sexy any she lives by his grandkids tells me hes going to visited but i cant go whats up with that hes a lier and cheater i hate men
I’m sorry to hear about this Debby. You need to think about how your relationship was with him before this, and how you’re going to deal with the issue. Right now you sound very angry ( and bitter, and with good reason.) But at some stage you’re going to have to deal with the issue. Can you talk about it with him?