Getting down to the truth
The real question that my students are asking is: Is it okay, to expect and want my mate to be faithful, loyal and committed to me; while I lie and deceive them about my whereabouts and sexual rendezvous with other people whom I find attractive?
The real question that is being asked is: Is it okay for me to sexually cheat on another person even though I don’t want them cheating on me?
How can I cheat on someone I love without being blamed for my actions? When you take the term natural out of the question, it then leads to personal integrity, responsibility and accountability.
The fair thing to do is to tell your mate that you are interested in seeking an intimate relationship with another person. This frees up your mate to determine whether or not they want to continue in a relationship with you and if so, use protection.
This may not be the popular thing to do-but it is definitely the honourable, civilized thing to do. It shows respect for yourself and others. Just like you wouldn’t choose to use the bathroom in the middle of someone’s living room floor; sexual infidelity is like crapping in the middle of someone’s heart.
The nature of our bodies
Wandile Molebatsi, who plays Bulela on Soul City series 9, and Zolile Maluka, who plays his girlfriend Dineo
The second point I would like to briefly discuss is the fallacy to assume that male sperm production gives them a biological license to cheat on his mate based on evolutionary theory.
I would like for everyone reading this article to pretend to be a wealthy human male with extravagant resources. Now, I would like for you to imagine that you have single handedly impregnated 100 000 women.
Of all the women whom you have impregnated, one of them is your favorite. Her name is Agnes. It’s not that she is beautiful, makes you laugh and you love every inch of her body; she reminds you of your deceased, irreplaceable grandmother whom you loved deeply and unconditionally.
You spend time as much time as possible with Agnes to ensure that she is eating healthily. You make sure that she is protected from crime and that she has everything that she needs to survive. You see the other 999,999 women while she is asleep or when time permits.
But you don’t want to be away from her for too long just in case she needs something and you don’t want to do anything that would jeopardize the well-being of your unborn child.
image courtesy of istock.com
When the child is born, you read to her each night. You kiss her toes and fingers and tell her each day how much you love her, that you would never let anything happen to her and that she can be and have anything in the world because her daddy loves her and believes in her.
During the day you teach her how to fish and ride a bike and tell her how special she is. You take everything that you have earned to make sure that this child is well-educated and able to live a productive life.
You see your other 999,999 children when time permits. Which of your 100,000 children do you think is most likely to propel your genes into the future and make you a grandfather?
No matter how much money or sperm you have what will be the psychological and emotional factors that will give your child the best chance at being a healthy productive member of society? Studies show that well over 70% of people in prison are raised in single-female homes.
I don’t believe that life is about who is wrong and who is right. It is not about who is good and who is bad-it’s about the consequences of treating someone in a manner other than how we wish to be treated.
In a nutshell, if you want to be in a relationship with a person who agrees to be sexually faithful, but sneaks behind your back and has sex with others and lies to you about their behavior; then it is okay for you to do the same.
If you don’t want it done to you –then simply don’t do it to someone else. It’s pretty simple.
About Cassandra George Sturges
Dr. Cassandra George Sturges MA, MA, is a mother of two teenagers, a full-time psychology instructor, advice columnists for Today’s Black Woman Magazine, Seminar facilitator, author of “A Woman’s Soul on Paper” ISBN: 0595171435; The Illusion of Beauty: Why Women Hate Themselves & Envy Other Women; Men Interviewed Tell: 101 Things Women do to Turn Men Off; Success & Beauty is an Attitude: A Woman’s Guide to Academic and Life achievement.
Email me: authentikbeauty@yahoo.com visit me at http://authentikbeauty.blogspot.com
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One Comment
Brain controls the whole body, same apply to emotional and sexual ability.If you love your partner and respect him/her, there is nothing of having MCP.Most cases frustrations defeat application of common sense and brain stops thinking. Intoxication of the body lead to emotional which most men and women look for temporary confort.