On Friday the OneLove web site published an article where we presented the view that, “men and women are not animals and can control their sexuality.”

We can choose to not act on feelings of attraction that we may experience for others if we are already in relationships, the post said.  We can choose not to put ourselves in situations which make it easier to act on the attraction. To further support that message, here is an article by Cassandra George Sturges:

As a full-time psychology instructor at a community college, the question that I hear most often from my students is:

“Is it natural for human beings to be monogamous, especially males given the excessive production of sperm. Why would nature/God give men so much sperm if they didn’t need it?”

I asked people to raise their hands if they feel comfortable sharing their mate with another lover. No one raised their hand, except a Muslim woman who said that they are taught to accept it if their husband takes another wife.

She went on to say that her cousin’s husband took another wife and her cousin told her that it felt like a piece of her had died and that she could never look at him or love him the same. I am proposing that most humans would much rather be in a sexually intimate relationship with one person at a time.

The problem with infidelity is that even the people who want to have sex outside of their committed relationship want their partners to be faithful to them. “Why do humans desire sexual fidelity?” is a topic for another article.

I would like to answer this question in two parts, first by analyzing the meaning of the question and secondly, by applying the theory of evolution to excessive sperm production.

Let’s discuss the term natural.

The translation of the message in the poster is, "people who love each other are like cabbages; they stay in one place."

Usually when we say that something is natural we mean that it happens without human intervention, that it is inevitable, that we have no control over its cycle, path or destiny. When I think of natural, I think that it is natural for humans to die. It is natural for humans to excrete waste from their bodies in the form of urine and faeces.

Even though it is “natural” for humans to excrete waste from their bodies, how, where, and when can be determined by their culture. Their culture decides whether or not they we use an outhouse, bushes, a whole in the ground or a toilet. So even though we can make the argument that it is natural to use the bathroom, like humans, even dogs and cats can be trained on where and when it is acceptable to use the bathroom.

It is natural for humans to eat. But some cultures and religions would never eat a pig or cow. So even though it is natural for humans to eat, we have many cultural rules about when, where, and how we should eat whether it is with chopsticks, our fingers or a fork. We even choose not to eat when we fast for spiritual purposes.

Most healthy people acknowledge the hunger pangs in their belly and eat foods that are psychologically, socially and spiritually acceptable to their culture. For example, they won’t eat certain bugs even if they are nutritious; they will eat their food in the manner that is deemed courteous and polite ; and they won’t eat pork, beef, kittens or other humans because it is deemed as morally or ethically wrong.

I think that the only act that we have no “real” control over is death. How many times have you heard in the media about a person who tries to commit suicide but fail? Or what about the person who is doing everything to live; they eat healthy foods, exercise, go to church - and they still die. No matter how good or bad we are as human beings we will all die. This is a natural part of life.

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