As we continue to take our discussion on multiple concurrent partnerships to other online communities, an reader at Female2female explains why she had an extra-marital affair, what it meant to her, her fears of getting HIV and the impact the relationship had on her marriage.

She says:

My affair lasted for about two months. He made me feel so good about myself and I have to say that it was a huge ego boost for me. I felt desired. I felt attractive. I felt beautiful. I felt intensely sexual all the time. I felt victorious. I felt powerful. Like I was in control. . It started to get easier and feel more natural.

I know that it probably sounds very sleazy – the whole meeting in a hotel and fucking (that was essentially what we were doing. I was not making love to this man) but it didn’t feel like it at the time. We were very careful and always practiced safe sex. I was also on birth control.

The guilt I felt was starting to eat me alive. I did try to end it often. I kept going back. I know that it sounds pathetic but I just could not stay away from him.

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Please leave a comment at the end of the story. Also note that while the writer chose to publish the story in her community (at female2female), the OneLove commenting policy still applies. This means that we do not cast blame on the person who admits to having a multiple concurrent partnership. Instead we show them why this behaviour is risky for them and their families.

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