One of the issues that keeps coming up when we talk about the reasons people have multiple concurrent partnerships is that couples who are committed to each other need to make a effort to satisfy each other sexually, so that they are not tempted to look for sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

In line with this, the OneLove web site team asked Paula Saardchit, a sexual pleasure expert and party consultant who teaches women how to spice up their love lives, to give us some tips on how to have a more exciting sexual relationship.

A lot of people in committed relationships today are wondering “Where did the excitement in my sex life go?” “Sex with my partner used to be something to look forward to.” “I used to have amazing sex.” “There was a time we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.” “What happened?”

If you are one of these people, rest assured that you are most definitely not alone. The reality of “life in general” (work, children, family, and other responsibilities) can and does get in the way of being able to focus on your intimate relationship. However, it is vitally important to make your sexual relationship a priority.

Let me say that again. “It is vitally important to make your sexual relationship a priority.”

Lack of great, satisfying, stimulating, hot sex most definitely has a negative effect on your bond with your partner and can even have disastrous effects on your relationship if allowed to go on for too long. Sometimes the realization that you haven’t had great sex in months (or maybe even longer) slowly sneaks up on you and one day you wake up and realize that you and your partner need to take matters into your hands and do something to remedy the situation now!

Most times couples let their relationship get to this point because sex has become a bit boring. They feel like they’re in a rut. They may be going through the motions, but sex doesn’t seem any more exciting than a night out at the library so why even bother? And what they don’t realize is that it doesn’t take a lot of effort to “spice” things up and start having an exciting love life once again! Most of the time, it’s the small, simple things that can make a big difference.

I have listed some great ideas for couples to try. You can tailor each of these ideas to your and your partner’s personality and willingness to experiment sexually. For example, the idea of watching an adult video together doesn’t have to be something that’s going to make one of you uncomfortable. You might want to start out with a provocative “R-rated” movie and work your way up to something more daring if you wish. But just the fact that you make the decision to watch something “sexy” together can make a huge difference!

Here are some ideas and suggestions. It’s important that both of you feel comfortable with the idea before giving it a try. Remember you are in this together. You need to find a way to make your new activity exciting (and think a little outside your comfort zones) but you also don’t want to be completely “turned off” by the idea either. Work together to find a compromise if you need to. What’s important is that you’re willing to start somewhere.

Change Your Love-Making Location in the House. I know we are creatures of habit, but, yes, sex can become terribly uninteresting if you always do it in the same place (which is usually the bedroom). Try another room in the house. Sex up against a kitchen table or on a chair can be fun. The living room has lots of possibilities because there’s usually a comfortable couch or a chair to work with. Do you have a pool table? Well, put a towel down and hop on. What about the bathroom counter with the mirror behind you (hmmm – sounds fun to me). Do you have a guest bedroom in your house? If so, I hope you’ve already taken advantage of it. If not, it’s your first assignment (smile).

Change Your Location Outside of the House. If you really want a change of scene, get out of the house completely! Go to a hotel (it doesn’t have to be an expensive one). Or think about having sex in public (just be sure you’re in a discreet enough place not to get caught – unless that’s part of your turn-on). There’s the beach if you live close enough to one. If it’s possible, go to your office or place of employment when it’s closed and nobody else is there (very naughty). It could even be in your own backyard. And then, there’s always the car (if you want to take a walk down memory lane – smile).

Just Add Water. Playing in the water can be an arousing change of scene and can be so sensual. Who doesn’t love the feel of warm water against their skin? There is something about water and sex that brings out exhilarating feelings in us. Use it to inspire hotter sex with your partner! Put your swimsuits on (or don’t) and head to the spa or hot tub in your backyard. Include some candles and your favorite drinks and let yourselves go! The same thing goes with your swimming pool if you don’t have a hot tub. And, last but not least, the tub or shower can be a sex-charged playground for you as well.

Give Each Other Sensual Massages. Use the power of “sensual touch” to connect with your partner in a way you never have before. Click Here to find out more about Sensual Massage.

Sexual Fantasies and Role Playing. Did you know that some women use sexual fantasy to help them achieve orgasms? Fantasy and role-playing can be very powerful if you want to take your intimacy to a new level. Putting on a wig and a fantasy costume and surprising him when he gets home can really knock his socks off! You can even incorporate your role-playing when you decide to stay at a hotel. Meet at the hotel bar and “pick up on him” or vice versa. Ladies, You be the Sexual Instigator. Do you usually wait for your partner to initiate sex? Try surprising him. When he’s least expecting it, tell him he’s going to have the most mind-blowing evening he’s ever had and supply him with some steamy details. This can be your opportunity to initiate different sexy positions as well. “Missionary” is nice but there are so many other way to switch it up! If you need some ideas, there are some great books about Sexual Positions (you can check online too).

Do a Sexy Strip Tease For Him. This is something that a lot of women see as impossible because they don’t have the courage or confidence to give it a try. Once you wrap your mind around the idea, though, it can be a lot of fun (and empowering) for you and well, for your partner, let’s just say he’ll be putty in your hands. Click Here to Find Out More

Try Talking Dirty. This is also something that is a big stretch for some women but if you can get a little outside of your comfort zone and give it a try, you might find out how intriguing and effective it can be when you’re looking for some extra “zip” in the bedroom. Read Here to Find Out More

Sex Toys. Have you ever tried a sex toy alone or with your partner? If not, you have definitely been missing out on a whole new world of fun and excitement. Are you a little nervous about introducing toys into your relationship? Consider going to an adult toy store together. Read Here to Get a Mini Education on “Adult Toys”.

Watch Adult Movies Together. Adult movies can be anything from steamy R-Rated Movies to XXX Porn. Talk with your partner about this beforehand and see what you’re both comfortable with. If you’re on opposite ends of the spectrum, try and come up with a compromise that will make you both feel okay with doing this. Men are “visual” beings which is why they like to see sex on the screen or in magazines. However, you might surprise yourself and find that you like it too!

Read or Listen to Erotica Together. What is erotica? It’s like secretly looking in on someone else’s sex-filled experiences. Or it might be pure fantasy stories that “get you in the mood”. The possibilities can be endless.

Surprise Him. The element of surprise is always a nice change and there are lots of “little” things you can do to make a “big” difference. Try doing your make-up a little differently or change your hairstyle. Wear something unexpectedly sexier than you normally would around him. Have boudoir photos taken and surprise him with them.

This can be a positive experience for you and can make you feel great about yourself. I hope this list gives you somewhere to begin. Perhaps these suggestions will spark some exciting scenarios of your own. Again, what’s important is that you decide to try something new. I can’t say that enough. Taking that first exciting step, in itself, can make a huge difference! The best of luck to you. May you create the best possible intimacy that you and your partner have ever experienced!

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