Bahati was an ordinary secondary school girl when she met an older man who lured her into a sexual relationship with expensive gifts. This is her story:
He bought me nice clothes, a fancy mobile phone and occasionally he took me out to dinner. He said there was no need to use condoms because he was free of HIV. He said he wanted me to be his wife and bear children for him. I liked the sound of that.
To him, I was the “new generation” so he could experiment oral and anal sexual styles, something he could not do with his wife. We would look at “pilau” films on his laptop in hotel rooms. He was quite possessive, even though he had other women. At times he was violent and quite abusive. He was strong and I was afraid of him.
Download the article, which tells the full stor. The article was first published in the July - September 2009 issue of Fema magazine
The article also looks at the following issues:
- Why some older men choose to have sexual relationships with school girls
- Why young girls enter into sexual relationships with older, married men
Talk about it
Is there a way to discourage older men from seeking young girls for sexual pleasure? And if you were talking to a young girl who was thinking of entering into an intergenerational relationship, what reasons would you give her not to do it?
3 Comments
Reading that story, you can see so many things wrong in that scenario!: A young girl with a sugar daddy, transactional sex, lack of condom use, unwanted pregnancy, unfaithfulness, lack of couple (spouse) communication about sex and satisfaction.
I think the best thing to do for these girls is to get to them at primary school age with lessons about the negative situations they may face later and the reasons why these should be avoided. And HOW. We need to work hard to build a culture where young girls value their dignity, their health and their education over material things and attention from men.
The girl was being materialistic and knowingly sleeping with a married man, so she’s not innocent. But she did fall victim to false promises and physical/emotional abuse.
The man in the story deserves no understanding though. If he was not getting good sex at home, he should have been expressing to his wife what he wants.
we are in and era of open sex as it’s all over the sites that we encounter to, so the problem of our sisters falling prey of the issue is a hard task to handle given the fact that many of those when given advise to quite such acts call you someone who has nothing to do with the ongoing modern generation that is prone to any kind of relations with the labels of love. only what i can suggest is that sites and magazines that potray the indencense should be out of sight to our younger sister who have not yet been exposed to the evil as it goes quenching for its most pleasures here and there and this should be done by those concerned in the high posts of the government and if at all there is away out by the government, it should censor all those search engines which may lead to such browses.
The other way is by parental involvement in educating their children about the consequences which arise as a result of endulging in such acts.
And also the introduction of condoms has done harm than good at one point because since girls are convinced that they can go asex with the use of condoms, they mind less about their dignity and the likes which accompany the stories of sexual harassments
Further more we have the problem of movies be it African or western. They real show what the word (love) hurried for is and so most of us live to enjoy them even with our dear children who enventually think that it is some thing normal in ones life and if not practiced at one time in your life, some thing born biological may be acting upon your mind.
The other issue is about those married men who go hunting for younger and innocent ones saving those who isn’t all that innocent to the situation. though laws have been put in place, they have not been effectivelly implemented which restrict and punish whoever falls in the category of rape or difilement. so what i suggest is, the government should revise the system with which it is trying to put such laws into action and that bribery should be put at a failure to those involved because one can be really falling a victim but because he has what stands for his strength, he goes on doing such nasty works.
TOGETHER WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL
God bless our continent
Such an enjoyable read, and fantastic comments