This is the story of a man who chooses to have one love, and be faithful to his love.

He says: “I am 31 years old and I have been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for three years now. I came from a very conservative family. And the whole thing there was Keep it zipped up. I think for women they say like Keep your legs together.”

When I was in standard seven, I had a friend who used to invite me to these parties and telling me what they did. He invited me to a party at his house. And there was this porno tape that was circulating. And he said I must come because this other girl was going to be there. And they were going to watch this tape before they went to a night club.

Of course I didn’t go. And then he came back and asked where I was and why I didn’t come. And they were telling me about the tape. And basically it was group sex and all that.

By matric the hormones really hit me. I was starting to have casual relationships – holiday flings. None of them yet were sexual.

I met this one girl. It was a weekend and we met somewhere and were kissing and stuff. And it got to the point where we were both basically naked.

And I had a vague idea that I needed to do something. And I said, ‘No’. And she then told a friend who later told me that I clearly must be gay because no guy says no. And for me, I was horny as hell but I decided the first time I have sex will be with this woman – my first love.

With my first love, we had sex and that was when I was twenty one. And the strange thing is the first time we had sex she was too scared to tell me that she wasn’t a virgin. Because I had made it very clear that ‘I waited for you’.

The first time we didn’t have sex because we had no condoms, we only had sex the following day. I made it a point that we would not have sex without a condom.

But there was only one time when I did have unprotected sex. And I still don’t know why. I was very horrified and angry with myself. It wasn’t in a relationship. It was a fling. I think after my relationship broke up with my first love.

The first time I had an AIDS test was on the insistence of someone I went out with then. And I was totally cool with it. And after that I had about two more.

And they came back negative. Currently I’m in a relationship which is very serious. And before my current relationship we both went for an HIV test.

And normally they don’t allow you to be there when the other person’s results come through. But we spoke to the counsellor and said we wanted to hear each other’s results together because what is the point of being open and honest if we can’t hear them together. I have a policy of not cheating.

Cheating is a symptom of miscommunication or no communication. I’ve never, ever cheated. Only once – but that was like a technicality. That was a time when we parted with my girlfriend and I went out with another girl for a month before going back to my girlfriend. She also had a fling during that time. I have had about ten girlfriends so far though I inflate the figure when I am talking with my male friends – you know, men do that.

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